Send me to hell.

I feel like giving myself a tight slap on both my damned cheeks. I was the world's most greediest and jealous person alive today. I am ashamed. Golu you were soo right in saying I am the most jealous prick.

As if I don't get to eat. Damned what happens to me when I lay my eyes on food. I have no control. I suck at it. I should be ashamed. I am. From today, NO STARING AT FOOD AND STOP BEHAVING LIKE YOU DON'T GET TO EAT. AND STOP BEING STUPID. GAWD, THE REPENTANCE. :|

Bloody damned me.

:(


Hate myself.

I should be drowned and burnt and then sprayed with peppermint. Curses on me.

The Last one.

He said it today. He swore he would not touch it again. He swore that this would be his last taste of nicotine. He swore he would never again light one and blow out the circles with the biggest smile of satisfaction on his face. This wasn't the first time he did swear. But this time we begged. We knew that his lungs would soon be caked with tar and this would be the end. But we were helpless. All we did was begged. And all he did was promise. Time after time. Until we somehow started letting loose the rope that tied him to us. But we loved him and still begged.

There was a reason behind every Cigarette he inhaled. As if the world was in a better mood, as if at that time there was nobody other than him, the marlboro sealed between his lips and his endless thoughts that circled through his mind. 


For him, it was the same old words from every person who knew that he was slowly slipping away. The same "Don't do it. Do this one thing for me and quit what you're doing". He would listen. And maybe feel bad about hurting the said person. For not living up to his expectations. But that was all. The next step he couldn't do. Maybe he didn't try hard enough. It was all so confusing to him. And the solution to being in a dilemma again was that cylindrical pipe that he felt would relieve him of all the miseries. That would break him away from what was going around him. He would then promise that this was his last.


It all happened again. And in the end, he sneaked out to the balcony; and hesitantly savored his promised last Cigarrete again. 


The cycle still continues....


*This was inspired by an article I was reading that day about smoking as an addiction and how hard it is to leave it behind. I would love to hear your reactions*


Thanks for stopping by,


SAM B

Because I was forced to post. :P

Golu this one is for you because you begged kid. :P

The header above is from a dance performance which had less of dancing and more of drama in it. Doing the function was a learning experience. The person with me in that picture is Sonali Mashi who is an exceptional dancer and a choreographer as well. The dance was mainly based on bits of freestyle rabindranritya and bits of manipuri. The drama is based on Rabindranath's  dance-drama Chandalika. It's a dramatic story and has a very important message of judging a person not by her race, her color but purely by the human being she is. It says things like - Every person around you has the same blood flowing through his/her body ... so how do we call someone to be a low-caste person or someone to be superior!

I am sleepy. Very very sleepy and my partially open eyes are not helping so I'll call it a day.

Thanks for stopping by,

Night. Later

SAM B

Giveawayyyyyyy

Purple Peeptoes  is hosting a fab giveaway...GO CHECK OUT and DO the 3 simple steps there.

Hurry people! :)

Im a bit busy now....A new post coming sooon

till then,

Love

SAM B

10 meters more!

Ok so that day we had our annual sports meet and I was there in the girl's inter house relay. And we were a team of 4. 4*100=400m relay. I would be running the final 100m. Well, I got the baton last. The second runner and third one totally screwed up the run. Our first runner Smriti was superb. Gave the second chick the baton 1st and then our curve went downnn. So I got the baton last.

So what happens in the last 100 m ahead!

Firstly you see 3 people ahead of you and the first one already halfway.

That is the time it strikes you that one at a time knock them out.

1st one overtaken. Nice! 75 m left. 1st runner has 25 m left. DAMN!

2nd one overtaken. "I can do this."

3rd one is about to finish.....but I'm close..the lead she had is narrowing down to a few metres....This is it. But then you see the finish line coming closer ...you need more distance maybe 5-10 m more to overtake. This is the time when you go ga-ga and you wanna jump over the line...maybe just push her aside and finish.

Just a few more meters you beg. People around you go screaming and cheering up but it's all in your mind. You see people jumping up and down. You can't hear there voices. Your head is jammed. And then all of a sudden the race ends. 

I came second.

And then you hear things like- Awesome pick up man! You did great! But deep inside you know that this could have been yours only if you'd got the baton 1-2 secs earlier. So what you do is just keep walking!

You wanna repeat the whole thing again.

These emotions....just sweep you off your feet in a time of some seconds. It's amazing how the whole thing happens.

And for the over enthusiastic type ( read me ) after maybe 1-2 weeks after the specific day, I keep on replaying the whole situation and start thinking of the extra time or the extra miles I'd begged for.

Well, Maybe I'm thinking too much but whatever. That's me. I could have won. :P 10 meters more!

SAM B

You lift my feet off the ground; turn me around!

6 followers :) Thanks soo much guys! Means a lot!

Joote kahan utaare the!

We left our shoes behind
In a place that we call ours
We left them and went ahead
We broke through the rusty bars.

We didn't care much about the shoes
We cared more about the road
Our soles grew old and weathered away
Instead we went on; we strode.

And now we bought new shoes again
To draw footprints on the road with them
And again we left them behind somewhere
A never ending cycle; we did the same.

We didn't care much; we abandoned the pair
We walked along barefoot, fighting the thorny road

Our soles grew older and weathered away

Instead we went on; we strode.

{Got bored with Julius Caesar being taught in our English class at school....I have no problem with the chapter but the way she teaches will instantly make you feel drowsy. So wrote a poem instead.}

SAM B

Because I have to say this!!

I just watched Udaan. Yeah finally! Im in love with the film, the whole new concept, the emotions of a 17 yr old guy. I could relate totally!

Rajat was fab! The poems were deep! The whole film was a superb package!

Must watch! Phadu picture hein!!!

Bye for now :)

2010 ends

It has been a year. A year that has given me new things. A year that has given me people, experiences and on the same line-taken away people I heart. It has been a strange year.Certainly did make me grow as a person. Made me more strong and on the same time more caring. Made me do bad mistakes and learn from them as a person.

School trip December 2010 :)

Made me a better human being - and isn't that all we aim for?

This year has given me two close friends, friends who know me too well. From getting through hard times to having the best evenings in my life, from long chats on the phone to missing ourselves on holidays, from eating out to having the mossst fun....2010 gave me two more best friends - Sek and Jnan. We misunderstand each other but deep down under we care and love each other a lot.

2010 ended on 31st taking my granddad away from me just like that, left me back with the best memories with the man who is one of my idols. His whole life is an inspiration. To be or to do even a quarter of what he has done this life, would be an achievement. I love my dadu soo much that it's hard to explain. All I can do is help out with the family he has left behind, cherish the loveliest memories I've had and try to fulfill the dreams he had. Dadu was one of the best human beings I've known. From helping the poor to helping out the family like each and every member is his own son/daughter. Looking at him go with a smile on his face, made me feel that this is what I want to be...this is the way life should be led. Dadu knew to love! He knew to care about people and give his heart out to them. There is soo much to write about him that a thing like a blog is soo not worth it. I love him to the core and will miss all the lovely times we spent together sipping tea and talking about everything ranging from language, politics, music, dance to history, his childhood stories, his travel experience, his dream! I love him and will do forever!

2011 will be hard. Friends will leave to places for there +2 education. It will be very hard to say goodbye to people I've spent soo many precious times with. I don't want to let them go. Not now.

I love my best friends - Shankha, Golu, Isha and Anwesha. I thank them for all they've given me. All the ways they've helped me. I want them to know that I think about them a lot and care for them each and everyday.
I thank my parents and my family back home. I love Tito :) To all these people...if I've hurt you in any way, I've never done that out of any evil feelings, maybe I got carried away or something. I am sorry if I've hurt you. I really mean it when I say I love you people.

School trip. December 2010
I love this pic!

I couldn't be selfish enough to expect a better 2010. So bring on the new experiences, times of mirth, times to shed tears, times that won't be that good but it's all about moving on and living it. So let's LIVE like it's the last year left!

Cheers
SAM B

(Caution: Emotional overdose is what I'll call this post. Don't tell me I didn't warn you!)

I should be sued!

I know I've stopped posting and I am very ashamed but still hope you guys had a funnn new year!

Is it tooo late to make resolutions?

Hell with being late-

Here are mine for 2011...

• I will be in shape and will be fit
• I'll finish off all the episodes of friends
• I will love my friends and will be by them all the time.
• I will NOT hurt anyone close to me.
• I will NOT hurt myself for things that aren't my fault.
• I will try to be better at math and football.
• I will have funnnnnnnnnnnnn and will be happpppy :P Period.

Erm.....the whole intension was to make a resolution thing....but well I went into things that I WANT 2011 to hold.

Cheers to a good year ahead.

SAM B